So here I am: a thirty-something, unemployed, super single, semi-friendless, uber depressed woman desperate to hold onto all the spiritual lessons she's spent the last several years learning, but finding myself unable to see beyond my current reality, my current hell. Don't get me wrong - I know I don't live in hell. I have an extraordinarily blessed and privileged life. It doesn't take more than 5 minutes of NPR, Harvey coverage or news of the famine currently plaguing Africa to know I am fucking LUCKY. I do not deny nor discount that. However. Even with that knowledge, I can also say that I'm in my own personal hell, that which is created entirely in my brain, this beautiful and disgusting organ that has gotten me quite far in life, but currently renders me incapable of seeing the light.